There are many transitions in life a person can go through. And one of the most devastating is the change of divorce. A life was built together that had mutual hopes and dreams. Two lives that were once merged together are suddenly torn apart. Divorce not only affects those in the marriage, but also the other members of the family (extended included).
All this can take a toll on your well-being. You may feel like you cannot make it, but I am here to tell you that you can, and will, survive.
During a time of transition, it is healthy and necessary to take an emotional time out to heal, to reflect, to search for new directions. Remember, you saying goodbye to the old you and welcoming the new you, the new you who is strong, confident and focused. Someone who ready to take on their next phase of life!
To do this you have to develop inner resiliency. Inner resiliency determines how well you manage change, handle stress, and bounce back from adversity. Here are some ways you can increase your resiliency:
- Play and be curious. Remember how amazing the world seemed when you were a child? Begin to ask more questions, be curious, experiment, and laugh more! Learn how to laugh at yourself and the challenging situations that may arise. This improves your chances of coping well. It allows you to remain calm during times of change, rather than being overwhelmed. When you are resilient you have the ability to play and laugh at what’s happening.
- Develop a strong self-esteem. When you go through a divorce, you start questioning what is wrong with me, what did I do wrong. Our self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves. When you have a strong self-esteem you have such a high opinion of yourself that you’re able to shrug off criticism without feeling wounded. This also allows you to receive compliments gracefully. Generate a list of all the things you like and appreciate about yourself. Practice positive self talk on a regular basis.
- Expect a good outcome. Resilient people expect things to work out well. They adjust their actions to ensure success. To do that, when posed a challenging situation, ask yourself how you can interact with it so that things turn out well for everyone, including yourself. Then work in a gently persistent way to make it so. Expectation is everything!
As you transition out of the old and into the new, keep in mind that when it seems the darkest that is when light shines the brightest, even after a divorce!
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEBSITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Wallette V. McCall is an author, speaker, and life coach for women. Wallette publishes the “Breakthrough to Change” monthly Ezine on how to thrive in the midst of change at: www.AnotherLevelCoaching.com